sexta-feira, 30 de dezembro de 2011

Solitude


My name it means nothing
My fortune is less
My future is shrouded in dark wilderness
Sunshine is far away, clouds linger on
Everything I posessed - Now they are gone
Oh where can I go to and what can I do?
Nothing can please me only thoughts are of you
You just laughed when I begged you to stay
I've not stopped crying since you went away

The world is a lonely place - you're on your own
Guess I will go home - sit down and moan
Crying and thinking is all that I do
Memories I have remind me of you.

Black Sabbath

quarta-feira, 28 de dezembro de 2011

Self


I wish I could just disappear, to anywhere, for as long as I wish.
I feel wicked. I feel sick.
And sometimes I forget that I am sick indeed.

“Drowning in a sea of sadness, sinking myself in a deluge of selves. My selves.”

Wounds shedding bloody tears for long trapped inside myself,
I'll set you free.
I'll do it.

sábado, 24 de dezembro de 2011

Blood stained sheets, sorrow stained heart.

domingo, 18 de dezembro de 2011


Lost and trapped in half-words, half-life, half-everything.

quarta-feira, 7 de dezembro de 2011

Breathless

I can't express this feeling. It's like something is crushing my heart and all I can do is wait to see what there will be left for me. The lack of conversation between my person and yours makes me feel guilty about something. I want to cry my heart out. I want to slash this skin off and get rid of all this dirt underneath my flesh and inside my soul. And with my eyes wide open, I want to see this whole filthy world where I refuse to live in; and scream: I don't deserve this life. Life is for the alive, haven't you heard? And alive is one of the non-existent words in my so called life.

terça-feira, 6 de dezembro de 2011

I am

I am utterly empty; full of nothingness, heartaches, lack of motivation. Now I am what I can call the living, walking corpse. Now I am what people see and pass by and pretend I’m nothing. I am nothing. I am a recipient of air and sorrow, floating around in a sea of sadness, waiting for some kind gentlemen or whatever it is to open my heart out and let me sink forever. 

I am what that little girl pretends to love and write about her feelings and non-existent life; oh, haven’t you seen? She says she loves her. Words. Full of crap and bullshit. Full of nothing, just like me. I am what that boy thinks he loves; oh, haven’t you heard? His thoughts, everyone can hear that. Everyone can see the way he looks at her, the way he feels when he knows she’s around, somewhere, even though he can’t see her, always looking up people’s head in a try to find hers. Thoughts. He just don’t know her, so naïve, so fool. 

She’s a shell of herself and its heart was stolen; now with her eyes filled with tears, she stares at people and tries to understand them, and wonders: why can’t they do the same about me?

quarta-feira, 30 de novembro de 2011

Até quando?

Tenho a impressão de que tudo, hoje, foi mais rápido, ainda que lento, ainda que na mesma velocidade de sempre. Tenho a impressão de que esse mês inexistiu, assim como o restante do ano, assim como eu. Meus dias se vão, o tempo corre, e as noites são mais rápidas do que um piscar de olhos, e quando percebo, eu fiquei aqui. Inventando incertezas, pensando no nada, no tudo, no amanhã, no que deveria ter sido dito mas não foi, no rosto que deveria ter sido visto mas faltou ao meu olhar, todos os dias, a todo momento. E toda a saudade do que nunca me aconteceu, hoje parece inexistente, parece nula, vazia. Parece tanto um eu que eu teimava em esconder, mas que nunca deixou de existir. Tenho a impressão de que o tempo sugou minhas forças e o que ainda espero é alimentado pela minha falta de esperança; uma contradição lógica, e banal. Ainda assim, espero. Inexisto. E continuo sempre aqui. Até quando?
 

© 2009Dead Souls | by TNB