sexta-feira, 15 de julho de 2016


                It's Sunday, 4:55am. No one is awake. She decides to take a walk till the nearest open shop to buy some cigarettes and watch the sun rising in the sky,  painting it with pink clouds and reddish yellow tones, exposing her thoughts in a way she thought it was not possible anymore. I'm alive, ain't I? Unfortunately, she thinks. Yet, I'm still here, and what do we do when all we've got is a pack of cigarettes and no hope left? She walked into the woods and picked the most dead-like tree she could find. We're alike, don't you think? Sometimes I wonder why I wasn't born as a tree; so subtle, so far away from people, so non human. Humans are too much troubled, while as a tree my only concern would be to grow old and get used to the seasons stealing my leaves & breath away. I could be useful, like a house for some birds, or tiny animals. I would be able to breathe in the fresh air and exhale freedom for those who find shelter under my branches. I would communicate with nature around me and find an answer everywhere I'd lay my eyes on. Instead, I'm here, contaminating the air and my lungs with these cigarettes that once provided some false quietness inside me, but I don't even taste it anymore. The clouds have wiped the colors away from the sky since I can remember - all I see is a huge bell jar where I'm trapped within with no will to move on. Where do we go from here? There's no escape anymore - there never was. What do we do now, Jack? She named the dead-like tree as Jack. She liked names with J. Jack didn't answer. Neither did she. Goodbye, Jack. And then she got up on her feet and started walking back home. It was 7:17am when she got home. She went upstairs, took off her blue sneakers and threw them somewhere across the room. It was dark, yet a few lines of sun dared to invade the room through the window, revealing the dust in the air while she laid in bed. Her head was spinning, the thoughts were racing. Why, Jack? Jack didn't answer. Neither did she. She took the pill bottle and started putting the pills in line, smiling at every single one of them, like they were children going out in a sunny day.  Is it enough, Jack? Jack didn't answer. Neither did she. She took the fourth cigarette out of the pack and started chain smoking like there was no tomorrow.
                There wasn't.

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